For When One of You Is Leaning Out
When You Don’t Know Whether to Stay or Leave
One of you is ready to try anything to save the marriage. The other isn’t sure there is anything left to save. Traditional couples therapy often stalls here, because it assumes you both want to work on the relationship. Discernment counseling was designed for exactly this moment.
Discernment counseling is about clarity before commitment.
What discernment counseling is
Discernment counseling is a short-term process, usually one to five sessions, for couples in which one partner is considering divorce. It is not couples therapy, and its goal is not to fix the marriage. The goal is clarity and confidence about what comes next, based on a fuller understanding of what has happened.
How discernment counseling sessions work
Each session includes time with both of you together and time with each partner individually. The partner who is leaning out is never pressured to stay. The partner who is leaning in learns what might actually make a difference, rather than pleading or pursuing harder.
You’ll each look honestly at your own contributions to the problems. That understanding matters whichever path you choose, because it shapes your next relationship and how you co-parent.
Three Possible Paths
At the end of discernment counseling, you will choose one of three directions
There is no preferred outcome.
Each path is a legitimate choice when it is made with clarity.
Is this right for us?
Discernment counseling is a good fit if:
- One partner is seriously considering divorce and the other wants to save the marriage.
- You have tried couples therapy before and it didn’t help.
- An affair, years of distance or a major crisis has one of you questioning everything.
- You want to make this decision thoughtfully, especially for your children’s sake
Discernment counseling is not the right fit when there are safety concerns in the relationship, or when one partner has already made a firm decision to divorce. In those cases, we’ll help you find the right support, including co-parenting and divorce transition counseling.
Start with a phone call
The partner who is leaning in often calls first. That’s fine. We’ll talk about how to invite your spouse in a way that feels safe for both of you.
954-829-3280 · Se habla español
Why Curated for this decision
Diana Wile Sellars, M.S., LMFT
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
- Twelve years of experience with families in transition, from reconciliation through divorce
- Training in collaborative divorce, so we understand both paths in depth
- Private, confidential and bilingual in English and Spanish
- Voted Best of Boca Raton 2026
